Friday, February 25, 2011

Mission Impossible 101

Your mission, should you choose to accept it . . .

. . . you will take someone else's abused, neglected and traumatized child/children into your home to become a  permanent member of your family. For the rest of your natural life, you will take on the responsibility to parent this child, and the fallout that ensues from his/her abusive past. All of the skills you learned and used while parenting your bio children will be of no use to you. Prepare to be unconventional! And . . . don't be surprised if these very measures, although heroic, are misunderstood by many and even villainized by some.

Prepare to encounter some, if not all, of the following impossible behaviors:
  • total Disrespect
  • destructive Rage
  • brutal Violence
  • persistent Anger
  • reckless Impulsiveness
  • expert Manipulation
  • invasive Nosiness
  • oppositional Defiance
  • incessant Chattering
  • unnecessary Lying
  • unrelenting Hate
  • extreme Selfishness
  • charming Shallowness
  • unwavering Distrust
  • continual Hyper-Activity
  • vengefully Slanderous 
  • award-winning Drama
  • predictably Hyper-Reactive
  • perpetually Hyper-Vigilant
  • feigned Ignorance
  • attention Monger-er
  • persistently Judgmental 
 Prerequisites to this mission include, but are not limited to, unconditional Love, a dying to yourself, unrelenting Love, persistence, forgiving Love, an unwavering spirit, unyielding Love, patience, pure Love, compassion, agape Love, consistency, tough Love, undying devotion, tender Love, the ability to remain calm in the midst of chaos, veracious Love, a penchant to carry on in spite of seemingly hopeless odds and overwhelming grief and last but not least, RADical Love.   .................................Mission Accepted!           

We are taught and wholeheartedly believe that "Love conquers all." We take children with the desire to give them a permanent loving home and better their lives. We have accepted the call, yet a few years down the road some will discover the unimaginable--that our love may not conquer all after all. Trauma, abuse and neglect have robbed our children of the ability to love and be loved. Our own love is rejected and tragically abused. We begin to feel beaten and defeated. The future looks gloomy at best.  Nothing changes. Nothing lasts. That is nothing except that we are living in an IMPOSSIBLE PARENTING situation. How does one parent a child who refuses to give control to anyone? You don't, that's why it is impossible.

Some will say, but "with God all things are possible." I have no doubt in the power of God. Impossible is unknown to Him. Yet our own free will gets in our own way. I am not here to preach or argue religion. I have the desire to blog to find and offer support and ideas in helping our children to heal and ourselves to cope. Daily anguish is difficult but support can make it manageable.  

I believe we may not win but we should die trying.

And I know, if I'll only be true to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest;
And the world will be better for this...
...that one man scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star. 
 ~The Impossible Dream~

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness." -Jesus  
(Matthew 5:10)


      1. I often see ALL of those impossible behaviors before breakfast. Blogging has been a lifeline for me, both in learning how to cope and learning to help my son. And oh, my, I am SO excited to meet you! :)

      2. Do I get to be the first one? The blog looks great and your first post is well written and makes interesting points. I look forward to reading more!

      3. Welcome to the RADical blogosphere! After 5 years, I keep coming back to "Love never fails". It doesn't make it easy, but it doesn't fail. *I* personally fail often, but I'm human, and yeah, doing impossible parenting. Love that title!!

      4. Congratulations on your new blog! Here's to tilting at windmills, raising challenging children and heading to the welcoming respite of Orlando in a few, short days!

      5. Excellent first post! Congrats on the new blog. I'm looking forward to meeting you in a few days!